For years you've marveled at baseball legend Dennis Eckersley's slick moustache and timeless moss (that's hair in Eckspeak). Yes, you have, just admit it. Now, at long last, you can stop worshipping the Eck and start being the Eck. Wow, did that sound stalker-esque?! Just a little.
Anyway, with the help of the new Eck App, available for just 99 beans (that's small beans to Eck) you can learn to talk like Eck, think like Eck, and best of all, look like Eck.
In the annals of history, few men have rocked the upper lip hair the way Eck has. Real quick, rank the top five moustaches of all time:
1. Tom Selleck
2. Rollie Fingers
3. Dennis Eckersley
4. Wilford Brimley (the oatmeal guy, the "dye-a-beet-iss" guy, the actor)
5. Mark Spitz
That's a pretty solid stache crew right there. And for the record, Groucho Marx and Charlie Chan didn't have real moustaches.
So go ahead, download the Eck App to your iPhone or iPad, and immerse yourself in all things Eck. You won't be sorry. You won't be Eck. But you'll be closer than you've ever been.